Bible, Discipleship, Family

Children Catch More Than Parents Teach Them and Here’s Why

More is caught, than taught.

Parents should keep this little rhyme in mind at all times. Explained, it means that youth and children catch far more of what we model than we could ever teach them verbally. We can sit our sons and daughters down at the kitchen table and talk to them for hours on end, but what we model for them in our own lives is what will truly impact their futures.

Thinking back to my own life, my first thought goes out to my dear Mom. To give you an idea of what my mother had to deal with, my two brothers and I terrorized that poor woman from birth to college. Both she and my Dad gave us boys many a stern warning about numerous issues and behaviours.

We had plenty of kitchen table lectures!

That being said, as an adult, I can’t remember the content of any of them. Instead, the most powerful memory that I have is one in which my Mother never even spoke to me or my brothers.

My Dad would head off to work before anyone else in the house was up. After that, out of us three boys, I was the early riser. In between getting washed and dressed, and my breakfast, there was a familiar sight that has become very significant in my life as an adult.

My Mom reading her Bible.

My dear mom, sitting on the couch, her burgundy Bible open (that I can still see in my mind’s eye), reading and praying. I am certain that her reading prevented many missteps and her prayers reverberated into incredible protection and provision for our family and specifically for me and my brothers.

As an adult, I have spoken with my Mom about her dedication to the Word during my childhood and teen years. She has confessed that she missed so many mornings, due to the fatigue of dealing with us boys and life in general. The crazy part is, that in my memory, it was every morning!

In other words, although she missed her personal devotional time with God multiple times each week, she spent enough time that it tipped the scales in my mind as her son. I saw her spending time with Jesus enough that it stuck with me. I noticed it and knew enough, even during my rebellious teen years, not to disrupt it.

More is caught, than taught!

Let’s take a moment to consider this little parenting rhyme in relation to one of the oldest passages of the Bible, Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” (Deut. 6:4-9)

Now, zone in on verse 7: “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Impress them on your children?

At first, you may think that this verse is pretty self-explanatory. However, concentrate on the first two words, “impress” and “them”. According to Dictionary.com, the verb “Impress” has ten different meanings in the English language, depending on the context. This can be problematic in this passage.

So, to get a better understanding, we can lean into other translations, and find, “repeat…again and again” (NLT) or “teach…diligently” (ESV). Then we study further into the Hebrew verb in which it was written, to get an even fuller picture of the word “impress”.

Impress: “…do a thing again and again; hence to whet or sharpen any instrument”. (Clarke’s Commentary)

According to further commentaries, the same results are found. This term is most often used in regard to metal work, particularly with the sharpening of swords or knives. Therefore, the deeper meaning would be to see that one’s children are sharpened.

We must sharpen our children.

To put this concept plainly, we just think about sharpening our children like we would sharpen a knife. As an avid fisherman, my filet knife comes to mind as an example.

  • I could use a high-tech electric knife-sharpening device. With these sharpening tools, there’s not a lot of technique needed. You turn on the switch and the sharpener hums. Slide the blade through the opening a few times, and it’s ready to filet that salmon quick and easy!

This misses the mark on the Biblical context though. We must, instead, think a little more primitively, using a stone as they would have in Bible times.

  • With this mode of sharpening, the knife will directly reflect whether or not the proper technique has been used. Good sharpening techniques should be specific, repetitive movements with frequent visual and manual checks. And as far as timeline, this isn’t a quick process like our electric sharpening device.

Sharpening takes time!

Moving in the wrong direction, with inadequate pressure or excessive pressure, too fast or too slow; all will have less than satisfactory results. And if we use our knife over and over again, but neglect to ever put it back to the stone for sharpening, the knife will become useless and in need of a major sharpening overhaul.

Are you starting to see the metaphor? If we move that back into our concept of parenting, and our rhyme, “more is caught, than taught”, the message is to be steadfast as we sharpen our children.

  • We shouldn’t move in the wrong direction.
  • We shouldn’t give inadequate or excessive pressure.
  • We shouldn’t move too fast or too slow.

Keeping this in mind, consider verse 7 and our second word, “them”. What is the “them” in which we are to “impress” or sharpen our children? What is the “them” that we need to talk about when we sit at home and when we walk along the road?

Well, it’s actually laid out for us, if we scroll back up to the first verse of Deuteronomy 6: “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe…” Which holds the word “these”, which points us back even further, to the previous chapter 5 in Deuteronomy!

It’s here that we discover our answer! We find the 10 Commandments, which are the “these” from Deuteronomy 6:1, and the “them” from our core text, Deuteronomy 6:7, “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Are the 10 Commandments really that important?

In a word, yes, these Commandments are very important. I would suggest that we lose something significant in our daily walk by not writing them “on our hearts”, as requested in Deuteronomy 6. Just consider that Jesus Himself shows us in the Gospel accounts that much of our Christian living falls within these 10 Commandments. More specifically, Jesus points us to the motives and heart conditions behind these Commandments.

With this our core text (Dt. 6:7) in mind, perhaps we should take some time to work through the 10 Commandments today? Perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we’ve been steadfast in sharpening our children with “them”? Then comment ourselves to the following impression principles:

  • Let’s not give up moving in the right direction with these commandments.
  • Let’s not give up applying these commandments under adequate pressure.
  • Let’s not move too fast or too slow, neglecting commandments in the process.

Most importantly, let’s not abandon these commandments entirely, never to be used and leaving our youth and children dull and disregarded. May we impress them well, modelling Biblical principles in our daily lives, regardless of whether or not our children are present.

2 thoughts on “Children Catch More Than Parents Teach Them and Here’s Why

  1. thanks again for another great reminder! keep 'em coming.

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