Bible, Communication, Discipleship, OT

How To Navigate Negative Friendships

Lessons from a man named Job.

In the Old Testament of the Bible, we read about a man named Job. You will be amazed at this man’s righteousness!

Today I want to focus on chapter 27, from the book of Job. In case you haven’t read it in a while, allow me to give you the back story before we read the key text.

  • This is a crucial point in Job’s tragic journey.
  • He has experienced more loss and heartache than any of us can imagine.
  • He is completely broken physically, mentally and emotionally.
  • Now is confronted by his so-called ‘friends’.

Friendly advice? I think not.

These friends take turns giving him supposed ‘exhortation’ (advice), which ends up being a string of terrible counsel. As if Job was not crushed enough, these men almost finish him off by breaking his spirit.

Nevertheless, just when Job is apparently on the brink of cursing God for his calamity, he replies with this shocking and invigorating statement:

As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul, as long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit. I will never admit you are in the right; till I die, I will not deny my integrity. I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.” (Job 27:2-6)

How would you react?

We can be tempted to fall into the trap that Job avoided. We may have people in our lives who are supposed ‘friends’, who fire us up or put us down but never really help us. It may be about family or career, church or even some recreational club or activity.

Regardless, the story’s the same; they add negativity, drama or shame to an already difficult situation.

Maybe you have fallen victim to this before? You’ve listened to their words as they spurred you on to anger or broke your spirit with guilt. Almost immediately you took the bait. Then, later on, you realize it was wrong. The whole thing was a trap.

Instead, lean into Jesus.

Christ calls us to love Him, and love others. This means striving for righteousness in all circumstances; regardless of what we may deserve or should receive. I am not saying this is easy. To consistently respond like Job is almost impossible! Full disclosure, I struggle with this stuff all the time.

That being said, we can start together, this week.

  • As we listen to the counsel of our friends and family, let us be sensitive to our emotions and their motives.
  • As the sense of entitlement or embarrassment creeps in, let us ask the Holy Spirit to assist us in our pursuit for righteousness.

Like Job, may we choose to say: I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.” (Job 27:6)

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