Your Kids Are a Heritage From God

Somewhere between the dance studio and the hockey rink, a trap can start forming in a parent’s heart. We feel a rush of joy when our kid scores the goal or lands the routine. We feel a sting when they strike out or mess up. Those feelings are natural; God gave them to us as part of our love for our children.

Unfortunately, along the way, some of us start letting our kids’ wins and losses define who we are. Our children were meant to be a heritage from God. They’re not something we lean on for our own sense of worth.

I felt this pull hard this year when I drove our oldest out to college. An amazing twenty-six-hour road trip down to southern Alberta turned into a sorrowful twenty-six hours home by myself. I thought I’d be able to handle the whole thing with a healthy detachment. I was wrong.

Watch or listen to the full message here: the LeadBiblically Podcast or YouTube.com/@LeadBiblically.

Children Are a Heritage From God

Psalm 127:3 says: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. The Hebrew word for heritage carries the sense of an inheritance assigned by someone else. It’s the same word used in Joshua for the tribal land. You possess it, you steward it, but you never fully own it.

Now, raising kids is an all-consuming labour of love. And it’s that love that causes that feeling of possession. But our children belong to God first. He gave them life; He has a purpose for them, and He’s only loaned them to us for a season.

Once that truth settles into our heart, their wins stop being our trophies. Their struggles stop being a verdict on our worth as a parent.

How This Idol Sneaks Up On Us

This kind of idolatry shows up little by little. We don’t notice it coming because, as we’ve already established, it’s wrapped in our love for our children. That being said, here’s how it might show up in daily life:

• When a parent’s identity gets tangled up in their kid’s performance. When their report card starts to feel like a review of the parent.
• When a parent’s sense of security gets tied to keeping them safe. So they can’t let them take a normal risk.
• When a parent’s sense of belonging gets built entirely around being needed. So they keep inserting themselves into their life long after they’ve grown.

Every parent who loves their kids will feel this pull at some point. Present company included!

Train Them Up Instead of Holding On

Proverbs 22:6 says, train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. That Hebrew word for train up means to dedicate or consecrate, to set someone apart for their purpose.

Every time we instruct our kids, we’re handing them back to God. We continue until the day we hand them over for good. In this sense, we don’t really let them move out on their own. We let God guide them to the next stage of life’s journey.

A Heritage From God, Not a Trophy

As I’ve reflected on letting go of our first child, I realize how trivial it is in comparison to parents who have lost a child. Perspective is valuable.

That thought led to a subsequent reflection on the ache our heavenly Father felt giving up His own Son for us. Paul’s words to the Roman Church are fitting:

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

If you’ve been asking your kids to hold up your identity, security or belonging, it’s time to hand that weight back to the One who already gave everything for you.

Join the Conversation; Answer This Question

• Where have you caught yourself looking to your kids for something only God can give you?