Why I’m Glad I Married an Introvert

The Move Went Great… Until It Didn’t (April 2014)

We recently moved three kilometres closer to the church. A bunch of people helped out, cleaning both homes, lifting furniture, and carrying boxes. It was a full team effort.

Like every move, it also forced us to ask, “Do we really need this?” Answer: We purged. Big time.

Once we settled in, things took a turn. The property manager from our previous place decided to hold part of our damage deposit. Not for things we did, but for issues that were already there when we moved in. Nicole and I were stunned.

My First Response Wasn’t Helpful

I was angry. We’d taken excellent care of the home. I wanted justice and was ready to go full throttle. When I started talking it through with Nicole, I was sharp, defensive, and not in the mood to negotiate.

That’s when I realized (once again), why I’m glad I married an introvert.

She Didn’t React. She Responded.

Nicole calmly unpacked what a harsh reaction might do. She reminded me that anger rarely fixes anything. Together, we drafted a gracious response. Even though it wasn’t our responsibility, we offered to help resolve the issues anyway.

Nicole also called the government office for landlord and tenant disputes. She found out our case was solid. We could have gone to small claims court. But she also reminded me: peace is better than proving a point.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

We Chose Peace Over a Fight

We went back to the house (after moving out) to fix a few things we didn’t technically have to fix. By then, I’d cooled off. We even shared some laughs with the property manager on the way out. A couple of days later, the full damage deposit showed up in our mailbox.

No court. No fight. No anger.

God Gave Me the Balance I Needed

God keeps using moments like this to show me what a gift Nicole is. We’re opposites in so many ways, but in moments where I’d blow things up, she steadies the ship.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9

This is just one story, out of hundreds, where I’m reminded that I’m so glad I married an introvert.

Join the Conversation; Share Your Thoughts

• When has a calmer voice helped steer a tough situation in your life?
• Do you and your spouse have different personalities?
• How do those differences help or challenge your relationship?