5 Questions I Ask Myself Before I Mentor Someone
As I’ve gotten older and more experienced, I’ve had increased opportunities to meet with people and pour into their lives. Mentorship is something I have enjoyed and strived to get better at. As I’ve worked through the mentorship process, I’ve come up with a plan for how to mentor someone well.
If you’re looking to start mentoring someone, or want to get better at it, I’d suggest asking yourself a few simple, yet targeted questions. These aren’t complicated, but important ones to keep a mentor on point with the goals and objectives of the mentorship.
1. What I Ask Before I Mentor Someone
The first question is simple. Why do you want to do this? It should come back to legacy. You want to invest in people who’ll keep building long after you’re gone. You should be looking for people who’ll carry what you’re teaching forward into their own friends, families and colleagues.
Paul told Timothy to take what he’d learned and hand it off to faithful men who could teach others too (2 Timothy 2:2). That’s the point. Instead of the mentor wanting to look good or be important, the focus should be on the person being trained up, so they can continue the impact.
2. What I Hope to See Grow in Them
Second, ask yourself what you would like to see grow in this person. In my experience, three of the most important characteristics are resilience, humility, and faith. If one of these is missing, the mentorship flounders and fizzles out.
It should go without saying that you should be trying your best to model the qualities you want to see in the mentee. And as you pursue these attributes, weave in real-life examples of how they’re practiced. Be honest about the successes and failures.
3. How Can I Create a Unique Moment
The third question is: how can you create extra moments? It’s an easy thing to schedule coffee meetings and chat. Sometimes, you might have to mix it up. The location, the time; perhaps doing something together or working on a project together.
It’s still good to have those structured check-ins on the calendar because your mentees need that rhythm. But stay open to the unplanned conversation too, or potential recreational activity, because those types of get-togethers can produce new conversations.
4. How I Know I’m Ready to Mentor Someone
Fourth, you need to ask what’s going to get in the way. Time is usually the most common barrier. For me, I’ve got a church to lead, three boys of my own to invest in, and a wife who deserves the best of me. There’s only so much leftover.
Knowing your capacity and having an organized schedule can help you set expectations early instead of having to end the commitment six months in. Be clear with the timeline and options to meet. If it can’t work, it can’t work. It’s not worth forcing the time, then regretting it later.
5. Can I Stay Honest Along the Way
Eventually, you’ll need to ask how if the mentorship’s working. After a few weeks of the meeting, you need to be honest with yourself on whether or not this mentorship is bearing fruit.
Asking the mentee for direct feedback on how it’s going is the best test. Encourage them to be honest; to give you the good, bad and ugly. It’ll be worth hearing it.
You’ll Be a Great Mentor!
Mentoring someone well isn’t a one-and-done process. Every mentorship is different, so you’ll have to adjust as you go. Be inquisitive throughout the entire process and be willing to adjust. It will go a long way in building trust with your mentee and becoming a productive mentor.
If you’re thinking about mentoring someone, don’t wait until you feel ready. As you gain time and experience, look for opportunities to pour into the lives of younger leaders. Ask yourself these five questions, and you’ll become a great mentor!
